My Abyss Month

The definition of “abyss” according to Google is: abyss

That is what January is to me.

Everyone has that one month of the year that it is extremely difficult for them to get through. Mine is January. I hate January. The only holiday is New Years Day, which is on the first day of the month and it isn’t even that great. Since I live in NY, January is cold, snowy, damp, and dark.

I feel like January is endless. It feels like my abyss. I can never see the end of the month until I’m there on the 31st.

Back in 2012 January became the worst month of my life and I will still attest to that month containing some of the worst and most painful days that I have ever been through. Every January gets harder for me. I’m reminded of all the bad that happened and I get a ridiculously large case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).


On January 1st I always feel like I’m balancing on my toes staring into a dark hole. February 1st comes along and it almost feels like a breath of fresh air, like I’ve been holding my breath for 31 days – just waiting for something bad to happen.

February is here and I feel like I can focus more on my graduate school work, look forward to spring, and feel a little lighter even though we are still in winter.

The image above is of Guillaume Nery base jumping at Dean’s Blue Hole. The video below is of his dive and it is amazing and terrifying all at the same time.