Today Is My Birthday

With a heavy heart and sad eyes, I must change the tag line of my blog from 24 to 25.

I turned 25 today.

I’m 25 years old. 

I’m halfway to 50.

Someone told me a quarter of my life is over… But that’s only if I live to 100! And I’m in terrible shape, I’ll be lucky if I live to 75, there is no way I’ll make it to 100. So technically then, even more than a quarter of my life is over.

So bring on the quarter life crisis, because I might not make it to my midlife crisis.

Happy Birthday to me.number_25_3

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New York City

So this blog post is LONG SO LONG overdue, and I am sorry about that (I did want to mention that I moved and unpacked and I got a promotion and I also write for PopWrapped.com now so I’ve been a little busy but excuses are excuses and yeah so).

So last December my sister Brianna and I went to New York City as a fun day trip. Bri had been to NYC before, but I had never been and I was EXTREMELY excited to go. Our day started early, very very early, our bus was scheduled to leave at around 3AM (an ungodly hour if you ask me). We decided to take a bus because I can’t imagine driving and parking anywhere in NYC. Of course our bus left late because we had the most distracted and slowest bus driver of all time. It was also freezing cold in the bus. After a 4 hour trip we ended up in the HUGE bus station in NYC and we basically had no idea where to go. We did have a map and stuff that we planned out, but it was so overwhelming stepping out of the bus station. I hate being that “small town girl” but it really felt like that. I couldn’t believe how busy it was and how many people there were. And how many people I accidentally ran into and tripped over on our way to the first things we saw – Starbucks. After Starbucks we just kind of wandered around and decided to go to Times Square. Bri had to keep checking on me, because I kept looking up and around and not paying attention at all to where I was going. I so looked like a tourist, it’s not even funny how dumbstruck I looked. I’m sure she was embarrassed of me.

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Ohhhh shiny big buildings!

 

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Awww sisters, let’s pretend we like each other!

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Jimmy Fallon where are you?

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Holy Giant Tree

On our way to Time Square we stumbled upon the Today Show. I kid you not, we literally just turned a corner and BAM there it was! We had thought about trying to find the show, but we figured we’d be too late in the morning to see anything. But we were blessed, because right as we got there they were out in the little square area testing toys and what not, and we got to watch them do that. We even were able to make our way to the big window and see Michael Buble practice and perform!!! He is one of my favorite singers and I was so excited! We were then told that he was going to be coming out to say hi to all of us and I was ridiculously excited. He came out and of course everyone freaked and I tried to get a few pictures of him. I then turned around to say something to Bri and she was gone. I couldn’t see her anywhere and I panicked (because as my mother told me 1,000 times before we left ‘Do not let your sister out of your sight, she is pretty and someone will take her, always watch her, and hold her hand.’ …We didn’t actually hold hands). I started jogging around the square to try and find her and as soon as I moved away from my spot, I turned and saw Michael Buble walk right past where I had been. And then I felt a tap on my shoulder and there she was. Bri was so excited too… Because she had gotten a picture of her and Michael Buble together. I was so angry.

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Fancy Christmasy Today Show

 

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My best picture of Michael Buble – His eyes aren’t even open!

 

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Bri and Michael Buble – I’m still angry about this photo.

After my heartbreak at the Today Show we decided to wander around more and head back to Times Square. We did all the staples: saw the ice skating rink, went to the M&M store, the Hershey Store, the Disney Story, Toys R Us. Basically if it was a big store in Times Square, I made us go into it. Because I’m a dork. 

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That guy in the Giant’s coat is my future husband probably…

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I wanted to ride on the Ferris Wheel but Bri wouldn’t let me. Because I most likely would have embarrassed her even more.

At this point we were both STARVING so we started looking around to find a cool place to eat lunch. We started to walk down the side streets off of Time Square and we stumbled upon Havana. We didn’t know at the time that this is a famous restaurant, we were just very hungry.

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After lunch we walked down 5th avenue for a long time. We looked at all the fancy and cool shops, walked into some (and then immediately walked out of most of them because we just looked poor), and I took too many pictures and looked like a tourist again. We ended up going into lots of awesome places, like FAO Schwarz, and then we walked around Central Park for awhile too. It had warmed up by this time, so it was nice to be in the sun. 

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I wanted to play on this… But I would have been the oldest child on it…

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The Plaza

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Central Park

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THAT BRIDGE. Ya know, the one in all the romantic comedy movies based in NYC.

After we had walked most of Central Park, we went back down 5th avenue (on the other side of the street this time) and went back to window shopping and walked inside a few places like Tiffany’s, Saks, and the American Girl Doll Place. We did stop in at Barnes & Noble and got coffee and sat for quite awhile, at this point our feet were starting to hurt REALLY bad. 

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I really wanted to go to the New York Public Library, so we headed that way. I loved it there. We got to go and see this “presentation” piece they were doing on children’s books and each little room was a new book, with facts and pictures and what not (I’d love to post those pictures here, but there are like 100 of them and I can’t pick any favorites because I love them all). 

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I’ve applied to 15 different jobs in the NYC Library system… Never heard from a single person.

We then headed to see the Empire State Building, Victoria Secret and Macy’s. The Macy’s windows were kind of weird this year (so weird in fact that I don’t feel like posting pictures of them). Bri and I rode the escalator to EVERY SINGLE FLOOR OF MACY’S. Do you know how many floors that is??? It’s 12. 12 Freakin Floors. We were pretty pooped after that and we limped back to Times Square and went to Hard Rock Cafe for dinner. Dinner was amazing, some of the best food ever! 

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After dinner we had some time to burn before we had to head back to the bus station, so we walked around some more (at this point every step was painful and the pain shot up to my knees and I never wanted to walk ever again). We went back to some places we had been to before in the morning and got to see them all lit up with Christmas lights. We headed back to the bus station a little early (and it’s a good thing we did because the email I had wasn’t right and we had to run to the counter and get tickets for our bus) and the bus left around 12AM. We got back to the station around 3:30ish AM (the new driver was a speed demon) and we made it back to our house at around 4:30AM and we slept for a very very long time.

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All in all I had a great time (though my feet were crippled for days). We stayed mostly in the Time Square area, so I hope next time I visit I can branch out and see more of the city. I’m very happy I got to go with my sister and we had some special time together. But the only negative thing about the trip (besides the foot pain, seriously guys I couldn’t walk right for weeks), was that I kind of lost all the glamour I had about NYC. I was so convinced that it was this amazing place and what not, and it really wasn’t. It was a city, it was big, it was super cool, it smelled a bit, and stuff was way too expensive. I was always convinced that I would go and fall in love with the city and move to NYC as soon as I possibly could. But I don’t think I want that now, if the opportunity to move presented itself I would seriously consider it, but I might contemplate someplace warmer, and cleaner, and less smelly.

But I can’t wait to visit again! 

Living In The Past

I constantly struggle with living in the past. I am constantly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of stupid stuff that I have done. I have the unfortunate habit of thinking about my past mistakes. I dwell, fret, worry, etc etc… Even though I know I can’t change anything about what has happened.

I can’t change it. It’s done. Boom. That’s it. Nothing I can do about it.

So why does my past bother me so much? Why can’t I just accept what has happened and move on?

First off to blame is probably my personality. I am EXTREMELY Type A. So, not only does that mean that I’m super annoying all the time about everything, but I am critical about every detail of myself, I am competitive (sidenote: I am a terrible sore loser), and I get upset/angry very easily. So when it comes to looking at my past – I am very critical about myself. In my eyes I see what could have happened and I didn’t measure up. I failed. I failed at being a good human being and I made a mistake and I need to be punished for that mistake. Said punishment is always beating myself up about not being good enough (I am pro at this, been doing it since 5th grade -first time I ever got a C on a test). It almost seems like I can never measure up to my own standards of living. I set myself up to fail constantly. Looking at my past is like seeing failures over and over again, when I could have easily done better. But hindsight is always 20/20.

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Secondly, I come from a very competitive family. No, not in sports (though my Dad and sister can play anything and everything and be good at it) but in grades. My family takes immense pride in being smart. I wasn’t popular, or good at sports, or anything really in school. But I was smart. I could hold that over everyone’s head. In school I believed that I was smarter than everyone else (except Stuart, PJ, and Stephen because they were freaking geniuses). I would study my butt off to get straight A’s because in my eyes that was the only thing I was good at. I could memorize any fact, figure, name, speech, anything. I could diagram a sentence in 8 seconds flat. You want all the state and capitals? Done. All the Presidents? Done. All the Vice Presidents? Done. The periodical table? Done. Even in college I was competitive with my grades and GPA. My friends were in different majors than me and I’d still get frustrated if their GPA was higher. Now that I’m not school anymore I feel like I’m not better at anything (except whining, I’m the best at whining, ask any of my friends). If I don’t have anything to be competitive about, than what’s the point? I look at my past and compare it to my friends’ pasts and see that they were better at living than me. They didn’t make as many huge glaringly obvious mistakes as I did. In my mind they win. I suck.

Third to blame is scientists. WHY HAVE YOU NOT INVENTED TIME MACHINES YET SO I CAN GO BACK AND FIX EVERYTHING AND HAVE A PERFECT AND LOVELY LIFE?

Fourth are those people. You know who I’m talking about. They LOVE to bring up the past. They LOVE to relive and rehash their great moments in life and remind me of how I screwed up. They can be my family, or one of my friends (terrible friend) or an enemy (do I really have enemies or just frenemies). They love to remind me about that one time, ya know, remember, that one time when I did that really stupid thing and it had terrible consequences. It makes me cringe just thinking about it. It’s one thing to remember the crap you did on your own, but when other people bring it up it makes it 1,000,000 times worse. (sidenote: YouTuber danisnotonfire has a great video on the “cringe affect” and when you have a “cringe attack”)

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Fifth is myself. I should be first because most of the mistakes I have made are 100% my fault. I could have done better. I could have made different choices. I could have thought more. I could have listened to my friends and family and teachers and peers. I could have caused less pain. I could have fought. I could have faced my fears. But I didn’t. I made mistakes. I made a lot of them. And it’s easy to blame other people for misguiding you, or causing you to make those mistakes. It’s also easy to blame your circumstances, that they made you make those mistakes. You can blame anyone and anything. But it comes down to the truth. And the truth is I screwed up. I made mistakes.

Why can’t I get over my past?

Because I won’t let myself make the same mistakes again.

Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing

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Or maybe it’s just me who’s tired of hearing these things…

So I am single. I have been single for 2 years now. My last relationship was terrible: he forced me to do things, he would be very rough and harsh with me, he stole my money, and he cheated on me. Due to that experience I have been very hesitant to date again. Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m terrified of dating again. I’m actually really fine with being single. I prefer being alone in all honesty (this is possibly because every relationship I’ve been in has ended very badly).
I have the wonderful blessing (and I mean it truthfully as a blessing) of seeing most of my close friends get engaged, get married, and be in a happy and healthy relationship with their spouse (this is not sarcasm, I really am happy for my friends). But after awhile, it can be very daunting to see that out of all your friends, you and a few others, are the only ones still single. I think something must click in a married friends brain – I’m not entirely sure as I have never been married. Said friend suddenly feels the need to help their single friends become as happy as they are in their married relationship. Because clearly being single is the same thing as being depressed and unhappy.
I can guarantee you that being single DOES NOT equal unhappiness. I am honestly happier now than I have ever been in any relationship I’ve ever had.
Now I really do love my friends and family and appreciate their thoughtfulness when they constantly want to set me up, ask me what’s wrong, tell me to date again – it means that they love me and care about me. But seriously guys, stop. No really, stop. STOP. Just stop. I’m fine. Completely and totally fine.

Please stop doing or saying these things:

Comparing your “relationship problems” to my “single problems” – YES I know that couples have a plethora of problems because they have to coexist with one another on a daily basis. BUT that does not mean that your problems are worse than mine. You need to stop diminishing every single persons problems like they are miniscule to yours. That’s not how the world works. Everyone is equally screwed up and has an equal amount of problems.

“You don’t know pain till you’ve had your heart broken by someone.” – Ummmmm… I have had my heart broken. Twice. And it sucked. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’ve NEVER been in a relationship. And even if someone single HAS NEVER been in a dating relationship that doesn’t mean that they’ve never had their heart broken. A person’s heart can break over any relationship, person, circumstance, etc… It is NOT solely based on whether they have had boyfriend or girlfriend.

“Your sister is going to get married before you.” – I am aware of this. You don’t need to remind me. She is smarter, funnier, prettier, skinnier and much much MUCH nicer than I am.

“Make sure you find someone in college, it’s almost impossible to find someone after you graduate.” – Bull crap. This is utter and complete bull crap. College is not the only way to find someone to marry (You will hear this constantly if you go to a religious college). There are THOUSANDS of ways to meet people outside of school. Here a just a few: through your friends, church, community, work, volunteering, parties, parks, restaurants, just walking up to strangers and saying HI…

Please stop assuming that I don’t want to be single. – I currently like being single. Now I can’t speak for everyone, but I like being alone right now. My last few relationships were crap and I don’t feel like diving in again.

“Just be patient the right person will come along.” – Oh good thinking, I almost rushed out and married the first person I saw. Thank goodness you told me to be patient.

Married people, please stop saying you wish you were single. – If you wish you were single, then don’t complain about it, be single. There is this fun little invention called divorce that 50% of married couples do. If you hate your marriage so much then get a divorce, if you don’t then stop complaining about it and do something.

“What is wrong with you?” – A lot of things, just ask my mother.

“Don’t you want to get married?” – I don’t know ok!!!! Maybe!!! It’s not a HUGE priority right now. I really want to wear a fancy dress and have a party all about me. So basically I just want a wedding…

“I don’t get why you are still single, you are smart/good looking/funny/employed/etc..” – I know, I’m shocked too. Men should be flocking to me from all the world. I’m such a catch.

“There are plenty of fish in the sea!” – That’s great, except I don’t want a fish I want a man. This is a stupid saying and I’d love to smack whoever invented it.

“Have you tried internet dating?” – Yes and it was a terrible experience. I know so many people have success stories from it, but lets be real here folks… It’s creepy. I went on a lot of creepy dates last summer from online dating (Christian Mingle) and I met some very creepy, odd, clingy, scary people.

“It’ll happen when you least expect it.” – I’m consistently unobservant of my surroundings, so I actually believe this one. It’s just annoying to hear constantly because than you are trying not to expect the unexpected and that makes the unexpected expected.

“Don’t you ever get lonely?” – Yes. I suffer from crippling loneliness at times. But that is why I have friends.

“Aren’t you worried that you won’t be able to have kids?” – No. I’m not even sure I want kids. If I end up having a desperate need for children, I can adopt as a single parent.

“You’re just too picky!” – I’d rather be alone and too picky, then to settle and end up with a psychopath.

“You’re gonna end up as a crazy cat lady!” – Nope, I don’t like cats that much. I’ll be the fun old dog lady.

“It’s the bouquet toss, you better get out there!” – This happens to me literally, and I mean LITERALLY, at every wedding I go to or I am in. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. And I’ve never caught the bouquet. It is brutal out there during a bouquet toss. And then what happens if I do catch it? Besides possibly being tackled by one of the bridesmaids… Does some mystical wedding magic descend down onto me and make it so that I SHALL BE MARRIED NEXT. Are all available men then notified that I HAVE to be married next and that it is their duty to find me, woo me, and marry me?

“I have someone I’d like you to meet!” – Suuuuure ya do. I’m sure they’re great too. Here’s a rule of thumb for this one, if you yourself wouldn’t date them and marry them, then don’t set your friend up with them.

“You’re not trying hard enough.” – You’re probably right on this one. I’m notoriously lazy when it comes to seeking out potential partners. Totally not a go getter.

“I’M ENGAGED!!!!!!!” – Great. I’m so excited. Can’t wait. What color dress should I wear?

Christmas

Those reindeer eyes are kind of terrifying.

Those reindeer eyes are kind of terrifying.

Let’s talk about Christmas since I skipped blogging about it.

Christmas in my family is always 50/50. You never really know what you’re going to get. And I’m not just talking presents. You would think that with all this good cheer, and present giving, and whatnot that everyone would be happy. That is not the case. Lets be honest, that is never really the case.

Now I have 3 Christmases. 1 with my Mom’s side of the family the Saturday before Christmas, 1 with my family Christmas morning, and 1 with my Dad’s side of the family Christmas afternoon. I used to have 5 Christmases at one point and that was just overwhelming. There is such a thing as too much family time.

I’ll start with the 1st Christmas celebration with my Mom’s side of the family (I had to work on the day of it this year so I missed a bit of it but it was still quite eventful). We all meet at my Aunt S and Uncle A’s house. It is usually EXTREMELY hot in the house because of their fireplace. I always end up sitting in front of it somehow. I sweat for the entire day basically. We have big “linner” meal (lunch/dinner) and then we play some games, eat dessert, and then open presents. Now it is tradition that between dinner and dessert that my Uncle A and Uncle P get mostly drunk. It’s tradition and at their age now it’s just plain old adorable. My Uncle P gets very giggly. My Aunts and my Mom and my Cousin make a TON of amazing food that is wonderful. My Aunt T makes the best mashed potatoes ever. Do not argue with me. They are the best. There is so much butter in them that at any point there is a real risk of heart failure, but it’s worth it. Present time has gotten shorter each year, since now we basically all just get each other money and gift cards. We don’t like to mince around with lists and what not. It’s just “Here’s some cash. Have fun with it. I love you. Merry Christmas.” And I am fine with that. My 2nd cousins (all boys) will watch TV or play video games. Well they used to. Now they are older and they make me feel much older. One of my 2nd cousins even brought his girlfriend this year. Nothing makes you feel old and alone than your 2nd cousin who is almost half your age bringing a date to Christmas while you play with the dog. There is always, as I like to call it, a “highlight” of the day. Usually it’s something one of my Uncles does whilst tipsy (like the one year they did shots of jalapeno juice) but this year it was my new 2nd cousin. He is just a few months old and is the cutest baby on earth! It was my delight to basically ignore my entire family and just play with him.

My 2nd Christmas celebration is my family Christmas. Every year it starts later and later in the day. We used to have everything unwrapped by 7am. This year most of us didn’t even come downstairs till 9am. We have the same schedule for every year though, we turn “A Christmas Story” on in the background (since it plays for 24 FREAKIN HOURS STRAIGHT), my sister and I open our stockings first. My Mother will wrap every single individual present in the stocking. Mine always has candy in the bottom, my sister (the vegetarian) gets healthy stuff at the bottom (probably grain or seeds or something else equally distasteful to me). My parents will then open their stockings to each other. They are usually FULL of candy. Christmas is a big candy holiday in our house (honestly every holiday is big on candy… we just really like candy). The pets will then open their presents. Yes we are those people. We get our pets several presents and wrap them (I only buy for the dog though, I have no interest in spending my money on the devil cat). Then my mom passes presents out to everyone and we all kind of take turns unwrapping and watching each other unwrap. I don’t know if other families do this, I don’t even know if my family realizes that they do this, but I noticed it this year – after anything we unwrap, any present, stocking stuffer, anything – we will say thank you. Thank you to whomever bought it for us. Every. Single. Present. My sister and I must say ‘thank you’ to our parents at least 50 times during the unwrapping process (I guess we are just super polite people). After all the unwrapping, the paper is thrown away, presents are placed in rooms, I will gorge myself on Reeses Peanut Butter Christmas Trees while everyone else actually eats breakfast food. Then we start making food to take over to my Grandparents house.

My 3rd Christmas is with my Dad’s side of the family at my Grandparents house. The 1st tradition is that my family is always late. We live the closest to my Grandparents and every year we are late. And because we are late, the lunch is never on time (I assume most of the Harvey side of the family resents us for that, though they’ve never vocalized it). Whilst my Aunts and Mother finish preparing the food (and trying to make my Grandma get out of the kitchen) my cousins and I (we are all girls on this side of the family) set the table, pour the water, and put the food out. We all sit down and have a lovely meal, just kidding, it never works out that way. As stated before in my Thanksgiving post, family dinners on the Harvey side of the family consist of a copious dodge and weave of words, stories, questions, and insults. We cousins usually stick together, unless we need to attack our siblings. Someone always comments on which of us is dating or aren’t. My Uncle D usually says something inappropriate without even realizing what he’s saying, my Uncle B will be condescending about something, my Grandma will spill something on herself, my Grandpa will spill something on the table, and someone will make a mean joke about how my Grandpa and Aunt P’s hands shake a lot (I’ll be honest, it’s usually me). Many of the traditions stated in the Thanksgiving post carry on at Christmas.  After dinner we all just kind of sit around. Sometimes we have to wait for other relatives who didn’t come for dinner and just came for desserts and presents (lets be honest, dessert and presents are the best part… of family togetherness of course). Some years we eat dessert first, other years we open presents first. Honestly, it all just really depends on how full we all are. Sad but true. This year I got to be “Santa” – basically the person in charge of passing out presents- I have a system I adhere to. One present, per person, per round. That way there is a nice spread, everyone starts and finishes at the same time, and we all can watch with joy. Basically it’s the perfect system and I should be “Santa” every year. After presents there is lots of sitting, card game playing, watching TV, and napping.

After a few hours my family heads back home. We usually watch a movie, nap some more, watch “A Christmas Story” for the 100th time that day, and eat candy (ok, so just I eat candy).

And then I go back to work the next day.

Merry Late Christmas guys!

It's a Christmas Moose.

It’s a Christmas Moose.

Something Great For Me

I am feeling discouraged.

I feel like there is something great out there for me and I’m missing out. I don’t know how to get to it, where it is, or what it is. But I want it. I need it to happen to me.

Well, don’t I sound selfish… I’m not saying I think society/the universe/God owes me anything. They don’t. I know that I am among the most undeserving people on this planet scrounging around for a blessing or something great.

But it would be really nice if it happened to me.

I’m 24. I’m single. I was salutatorian in high school. I graduated with a 4 year degree from an academically challenging college with an above average GPA. I am a hard worker. I am nice. I am funny. I am loyal. I am dramatic. I love helping people. I am willing to work, to move, to learn new things, to be out of my comfort zone.

So why am I alone. With a semi-ok part time job. Living with my parents. With no social life to speak of. In the middle of no where.

Why have none of the Library Directors, from the 20+ jobs I applied to in NYC, responded to me? Why can’t I move out? Why do most of my friends ignore me on a daily basis? Why has one of my best friends in the whole world started treating me like trash? Why is it that when your college friends get married they forget you exist? Why does my mother put so much freakin pressure on me about not being married? Why do I have such a fragile relationship with my parents? Why do my sister and I only get along when we are not in the same city?

Why am I unhappy?

Why do I feel like there is more out there for me, right at my fingertips, and I keep missing it?

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I know so many people have it worse. I know these are construed as ‘first world problems’ or ‘whining’ or ‘being selfish’ – but may I remind you, I’m just listing the questions I have right now. You have no idea about anything in my life. You don’t know how I was raised, my childhood, or any of the awful things I’ve experienced. So you can stop judging me now.

I almost feel like I’m disappointed in myself. Like I could have done so much better. I look back and I see the mistakes I’ve made. And I know I wish I could go back and change all of them but that ends up making me feel more discouraged. Because I can’t fix them. They happened. It’s done. I have to deal with what my life is now.

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I knew who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go.

But I’m not that person. I didn’t end up doing what I wanted. And I am definitely not where I wanted to be.

I feel like my future is right at my fingertips. I just have to make a decision and go with it. But I am so terrified that I may make the wrong choice. I have a terrible track record for choices. I usually make ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE CHOICES. I never listen to advice from my friends and family. And even though I usually plan things out and do pros and cons and what not – I still end up making a spur of the moment decision. I can’t even trust myself to do the right/smart thing anymore. I’ve screwed up too many times.

But my future is right there. Staring me in the face. I can feel it. I just can’t see it. And people put so much pressure on your future. Like it’s the Holy Promised Land that we are all striving to visit before we die.

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But what if we are already in our future? What if this is it? What you are doing right now, where you are, who you are. This is it. This is your future. What if it’s already started? What if you missed out on that Holy Promised Land.

What if I’m stuck like this forever?

I have two choices staring me in the face right now. One is easy and one is terrifying.

I could just move out in February like I planned – right down the street from where I work. And that’s it.

Or I could move to NYC. Completely start over. And be anything I want to be.

What if I can’t make a choice?

What if I make the wrong one?

Taylor Swift

No snazzy title today folks, because I still feel miserable. This will probably be crap since I’m hopped up on cold meds… But here we go anyways.

I love Taylor Swift.

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So pretty. So perfect.

Now my love for T-Swizzle is a recent development of about 3 years. I didn’t really care for her… Because… I hate country music. That’s right, I said it. I’ll even say it again.  I HATE COUNTRY MUSIC. It’s crap. BUT I don’t think Taylor is “that” country anymore and her new music is lovely and pop and I listen to it now.

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Ohhhh pretty guitar.

Now I love Taylor so much that this past summer, for my birthday, me and my sister, and 4 of my friend went to Philadelphia to see her in concert (actually me, my sister and 1 friend went to see her, 2 of my friends went for Ed Sheeran, and I’m not sure why my other friend came because they just whined and complained the whole time)!

Here are some pictures from that concert!

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We are all poor, so we had terrible seats. Absolutely terrible. We were I think 10 rows down from the top.

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Yep, could barely even see the screen. Still worth it though.

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Most of the time I had no idea what was happening on stage. Still worth it.

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Worth it.

In fact, during the concert, right before Taylor Swift was going to come on. There was a HUGE thunderstorm that hit the OPEN stadium. They advised everyone to go inside and hide. We didn’t. I made my friends sit in the rain. So if she came back on we wouldn’t miss her. We got very wet. We sat in the rain for a long time. They all hated me. But the concert was amazing!

(Side note: I was so happy when the concert actually started that I pretty much cried through the first 2 songs. That’s right. I cried. Like a freaking baby. Tears of joy. It was amazing.)

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My favorite Taylor Swift song is “Mean” – mostly because I can really relate to it. I got picked on a lot in school. I had braces, glasses, super short hair, and I was fat. So yeah… Not a lot going for me. I also like: “Begin Again” – “White Horse” – “Haunted” – and a lot of other mushy sad love ones… I know I know… That’s like all of them.

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She just seems like she’d be a great BFF. And yes, I know she’s dated a lot of people. Yes, I know she is always labeled as the “innocent one” and all these men/boys are terrible people for breaking her heart. Yes, I know she might be the problem. I don’t care. She’s perfect. And lovely. And a wonderful person.

She also just gave a crap-ton of money to start an awesome new school for kids interested in music!

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She cares about everyone! She’s lovely!

Also, I have her perfume. And it smells amazing. I smell like Taylor Swift. It’s almost like we’re friends in real life!

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Did I mention she is gorgeous?

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It’s amazing to think that someone who is only a 5 months younger than me, has accomplished so much in life. I have accomplished nothing…. Well, I know most of her songs by heart… That’s something right?

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Big finale finish! Whoohoooo….

I need to blow my nose again.