SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED

AHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AH

Ok, so. I have moved out of my parents house. I know, I know – I didn’t blog about my trip to NYC, Christmas, or New Years…. I’ll do that later, hopefully. (I have a CRAP photo editor on my computer right now and once I get a better one I will post my NYC pics.)

But I MOVED. MOOOOOOVED. I am a single white female living on her own for the first time… Pretty sure this is how horror movies start. And I’m blonde so of course I’ll be the first to die.

Things I’ve learned since I moved out:

1. When I am alone I talk to myself. ALOT. It concerns me how much I talk to myself. I clearly need a pet or something to talk to. I may end up in a Criminal Minds episode if it gets worse…

2. I am very paranoid. Never really noticed it before. But basically any noise will make me jump and run to check the locks and windows. 

3. I still hate cleaning. Yep, that did not change. Haven’t cleaned anything. Nope.

4. When you have to self-coach yourself through an anxiety attack, you tend to get more anxious. (Sidenote: I don’t think many people know this. My parents probably don’t even realize it because they just think I’m overdramatic. But I actually suffer from anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. Not a lot of fun. Whenever I am REALLY stressed, or REALLY upset, or REALLY sad, or pretty much any emotion to the max – I will have some sort of anxiety. Usually having people around all the time helps me to get over them quickly. But when I’m by myself… It just keeps building and building until I have basically a breakdown. I used to have the all them time when I lived in SC. I am hoping I get better at dealing with them.)

5. Family members are gonna give you free stuff whether you want it or not. I love my family. They are adorable/crazy/insane/helpful. And they all gave me a crap ton of stuff. I had 3 free couches (only fit 1 in the living room), free kitchen supplies, free table and chairs, free dresser, etc. They just keep giving it to me. Now it may be out of the goodness of their hearts… Or they may just want to give me all of their crap and if I don’t like it then it’s my responsibility to get rid of it… Either way I’ll take it. I’m poor.

6. I’m not great at being independent. (Cue Kelly Clarkson – Miss Independent) My first day (Monday) on my own and my locks froze shut on my car and my Dad had to come out to my workplace and call AAA to get my doors open (this would be an example of when I had an anxiety attack, in a parking lot, in 0 degree weather, my tears were freezing to my face). Then my Dad took me to dinner and grocery shopping because I was a pathetic mess and he assumed something else bad was going to happen to me.

7. I am still running late every day. I now live less than 1 mile from my work! I don’t have to drive 30 minutes to get there now. And I still am rushing out the door, barely making it to work on time. I have a serious problem. I think it might be laziness.

8. When you live in an apartment, you can hear the other people living around you. The people who live next to me are silent, they may be dead, I don’t really know. I have never heard them. The people upstairs though… I definitely know that they are alive. The scream, and yell, and boy oh boy do they love the F word. I think it’s their favorite word! And they have a small little girl. She likes to scream and cry too! Especially at 2AM, and then 4AM, and then of course at 6AM (note to self, you may not want to have kids). 

9. I’m terrible at grocery shopping. I finished up my grocery list yesterday and went to check out and I almost fainted when I saw the price. Good Lord food is expensive. And I didn’t look at a single price when I was picking stuff out. I also picked all terribly unhealthy things. So I’m either gonna get super fat from my food choices or super skinny from not being able to afford food ever again (maybe I should link to my PayPal so people can donate to buy me pizza). 

10. I’m actually pretty smart. I did most of this by myself. I went and saw the apartment. Talked everything over with the landlord several times. Read the lease, figured out questions to ask. Paid for the rent and security on my own. Organized the move (thank you to my amazing friends the Frinks who helped me move all of my crap!!). Put my furniture together. Started designing sort of floor plans to figure out where to put stuff. And set up my own internet and cable (so I wouldn’t have to pay the installation fee). 

 

I’ve still got a lot to learn from this experience and I hope it keeps getting better. I knew I needed to do this because I’ve never been on my own before and you can’t always rely on other people to help you for the rest of your life. I knew I was becoming a burden to my parents and I needed to get off my lazy butt and push myself. And this was definitely a push. Though it is still kind of scary and mega stressful right now (so little monies left…) I’m still growing and learning and I’m sure this will all work out. I hope this works out… Please, oh please let this work out.

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