Broken Dreams

I’m talking literally here.

Because I have these weird recurring dreams where I break most of the bones in my body… Is that normal? Anyone else? Ok, nope just me.

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So here’s the thing. I’ve only ever broken a bone once. Once in my entire life. And I was a fairly active child and teenager. I just never did anything risky.

But one night (I only remember that it was the fall semester) during my sophomore year in college I broke the top of my foot. That’s right… You read that right. Just the TOP of my foot. And simply because I’m a klutz. I was ironing my clothes (I was a weirdo in college and would pick out my outfit the night before and iron it) and I got distracted by one of my roommates (the annoying one – her name was Paula – I have no fear if she reads this!). I went to grab something for her (because she was super needy!) and I tripped over the cord of the iron. Mind you, the iron was hot. It landed point down on the top of my foot – breaking it – and then landed flat on the top of my foot – burning it. It was a great night. It was also one of the first nights I ever said a swear word out loud… very loudly.

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But I didn’t go to the doctors. I hate doctors and hospitals and they frighten me. So I pretty much dragged my swollen foot around campus for a week. I could only wear this one pair of flats that were too big for me because nothing else fit my huge foot. Eventually my best friend (nursing student) convinced me to go to the “on campus clinic” (the biggest joke for health care). By that time my foot had started to heal itself and they would need to re-break it to set it right. I hobbled out of there pretty quickly. So now the top of my foot is sort of pointy-ish. And when my foot gets cold there is a slight ‘x’ shaped scar on top of it. Pretty cool right… Nope. Not at all.

Anyways back to the dreams.

I keep having these different dreams that I’m either in a car accident, or someone pushes me and I fall over, etc, etc, and I break several bones. And no one cares. Not a single person cares that I have broken bones. They all just expect me to get on with my work and driving and chores and what not.

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Now I don’t know if this is because of my fear of hospitals, my fear of breaking something, or my fear of still being on my parents’ health insurance and it’s going to run out in 2 years and what happens if I do break a bone and I can’t pay for it, or what not… But I hate these dreams.

What’s worse is that I’ll wake up with phantom pains! I’ll have a dream that I got pushed or whatnot and broke my leg and I’ll wake up and my leg will be hurting. And I can’t figure out if I had the dream because my leg hurt, or my leg hurts because I had the dream.

Maybe I’m just crazy or a wuss.

Or maybe I just need to really break a bone and get it over with.

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Hopefully… Not that bone!

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